Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Secrets for easing the anxiety of seperation...
As provider’s we’ve all seen those children (and parents) affected by separation anxiety. We’ve all had the child that screams and cries uncontrollably until Mom walks out the front door, then they are fine. Here is some information and 4 rules to share with the parent’s concerning separation anxiety:
Some Rules to share with Parents.
Breaking up is hard to do, especially for a young child. After all, his world revolves around you. You are the one to whom he’s most connected, so it’s easy to understand that separation is upsetting. As early as 7 months, your baby may begin to display displeasure when you leave. But beware: the clinginess, tears, and tantrums can even get worse until about ages 15-18 months and can continue through the preschool years.
It is during the toddler and preschool years, when your little one loves you but at the same time wants to test his newfound independence and explore his world, that separation can be most difficult. Most adults cannot clearly communicate their feelings in this situation, so you imagine a child’s difficulty. But with your help, he can learn to cope.
Rule #1: Be honest about leaving. When it’s time to leave, wave and say a quick goodbye. But be sure you don’t just sneak out either. If you do, your child will think that you might leave at any time, which causes more clinginess.
Rule #2: If you say you’re going, go. Don’t delay your departure or offer too much explanation. If you act like your leaving is no big deal, then your child will learn to treat it that way too.
Rule #3: Offer a favorite pastime or an item that reminds him of you. A favorite stuffed animal or picture of you can help to ease his sadness and help him feel close to you. An activity or favorite item can also distract him once you leave.
Rule #4: Leave some time for getting comfortable. When possible, provide some transition time with a new caregiver. Spend time with your child and the caregiver to help your child warm up to the situation. Also, make sure your child knows that you are leaving him in safe care.
Don’t discard these rules. In time, your child may deal better with separation. Breathe a small sigh, but don’t totally exhale. As your child progresses in life — crawling, walking, staying with a babysitter, going to school — separation anxiety may recur. Consider it a compliment, a sign of love and commitment, and then consider these rules.
Some more resources that you can access:
As provider’s we’ve all seen those children (and parents) affected by separation anxiety. We’ve all had the child that screams and cries uncontrollably until Mom walks out the front door, then they are fine. Here is some information and 4 rules to share with the parent’s concerning separation anxiety:
Some Rules to share with Parents.
Breaking up is hard to do, especially for a young child. After all, his world revolves around you. You are the one to whom he’s most connected, so it’s easy to understand that separation is upsetting. As early as 7 months, your baby may begin to display displeasure when you leave. But beware: the clinginess, tears, and tantrums can even get worse until about ages 15-18 months and can continue through the preschool years.
It is during the toddler and preschool years, when your little one loves you but at the same time wants to test his newfound independence and explore his world, that separation can be most difficult. Most adults cannot clearly communicate their feelings in this situation, so you imagine a child’s difficulty. But with your help, he can learn to cope.
Rule #1: Be honest about leaving. When it’s time to leave, wave and say a quick goodbye. But be sure you don’t just sneak out either. If you do, your child will think that you might leave at any time, which causes more clinginess.
Rule #2: If you say you’re going, go. Don’t delay your departure or offer too much explanation. If you act like your leaving is no big deal, then your child will learn to treat it that way too.
Rule #3: Offer a favorite pastime or an item that reminds him of you. A favorite stuffed animal or picture of you can help to ease his sadness and help him feel close to you. An activity or favorite item can also distract him once you leave.
Rule #4: Leave some time for getting comfortable. When possible, provide some transition time with a new caregiver. Spend time with your child and the caregiver to help your child warm up to the situation. Also, make sure your child knows that you are leaving him in safe care.
Don’t discard these rules. In time, your child may deal better with separation. Breathe a small sigh, but don’t totally exhale. As your child progresses in life — crawling, walking, staying with a babysitter, going to school — separation anxiety may recur. Consider it a compliment, a sign of love and commitment, and then consider these rules.
Some more resources that you can access:
- Excellent resource from Illinois Early Learning Project; Illinois State Board of Education
- Go to Kids Health for Parents to learn more about what separation anxiety is and what you can do
- iVillage offers 15 ways to ease your child's separation anxiety
- For more information about separation anxiety, visit the American Academy of Pediatrics
// posted by Tammy Wachter @ 4:47 PM 
